Good evening everyone. Tonight's entry might be a little more emotional than most. It's about making big decisions about one's life.
Today, I decided to re-apply for university. I have applied to different schools in the past but got worried about the money, failure and rejection and in the end decided to not follow through at all. I have had a steady stream of inspiration from the man in my life whom I love and have thusly decided to follow through. I had been riding on a cloud of happy throughout the day since I applied this morning.
And then I called my parents. My father reminisced about the multiple times I didn't follow through and also mentioned possible brain damage from too much of a good thing when I was younger. My heart sunk. I sit here now, questioning.
My motives are clear for doing this. I want a career. I want to make life better for everyone around me. I need a challenge and a mission. My heart has grown tired from jobs I've worked that have not truly been mine. I need this fight and if it's myself I'm fighting against, I know I'm a damn good adversary.
In the end, I'm going to do this for the myriad of reasons that have to do with love, hope, change and a fresh outtake on life. I'm going to do this because I can. Goodnight everybody.
