Good evening everyone. Tonight's entry might be a little more emotional than most. It's about making big decisions about one's life.
Today, I decided to re-apply for university. I have applied to different schools in the past but got worried about the money, failure and rejection and in the end decided to not follow through at all. I have had a steady stream of inspiration from the man in my life whom I love and have thusly decided to follow through. I had been riding on a cloud of happy throughout the day since I applied this morning.
And then I called my parents. My father reminisced about the multiple times I didn't follow through and also mentioned possible brain damage from too much of a good thing when I was younger. My heart sunk. I sit here now, questioning.
My motives are clear for doing this. I want a career. I want to make life better for everyone around me. I need a challenge and a mission. My heart has grown tired from jobs I've worked that have not truly been mine. I need this fight and if it's myself I'm fighting against, I know I'm a damn good adversary.
In the end, I'm going to do this for the myriad of reasons that have to do with love, hope, change and a fresh outtake on life. I'm going to do this because I can. Goodnight everybody.
I appreciate the name of inspiration but it's you doing it. While we are supports and will always be there and should be thanked, in the end, you made the choice, and you will do the work, and for that you deserve all the appreciation, support, and respect possible.
ReplyDeleteYou are a remarkable human being who deserves to be challenged and grow. Keep being you.